NorCal, don't feel like you are losing out. One of my non-snugglers, used to be goofy only with my husband, but with me, he would do the most touching things. If I made a big deal he would withdraw, but if I just quietly accepted, he would persist.
For instance, this dog and I drove across the state quite a bit, several times each year. I would rest my hand on the gear shift as we drove. After a number of times making the 5 hour trip together, he began to rest his paw on top of mine, on the gear shift. It was so quietly touching, that it chokes me up to think of it, even now, years after his death.
You will have your moments and you will not be disappointed. Just wait.
Waiting is hard, just ask your dog.
I would also suggest, that as the Alpha female, he is showing respect to you and to your husband, choosing not to be too familiar and to not cross some boundary that we don't quite see.
You can initiate some subtle love signals that do not make him uncomfortable: the touch on the shoulder, the quick sounds that are unique to your language. Think of guys that are good friends, but don't get mushy. There is your "in".